should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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