If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
