I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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