matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
