I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
These tits shall not be calmed
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
