I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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