Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
