It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
