if you like me you must not know who I am
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
