So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
