I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I love you. Go after that dick
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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