i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
