did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
