everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
