You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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