I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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