do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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