Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
