I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
