Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
