i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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