WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
