He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
