windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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