Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ihaznonamee hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.

Fav 9 991 2577
share tweet
(442): View more from California

seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong

Fav 16 1943 3973
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.

Fav 7 1452 3948
share tweet
(715): View more from Wisconsin

Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Fav 8 2434 1140
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge

Fav 13 3752 845
share tweet
(801): View more from Utah

Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.

Fav 7 824 1566
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?

Fav 12 1250 1095
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"

Fav 2 22 88
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(636): View more from Missouri

You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?

Fav 0 57 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT