I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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