You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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