She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
