White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
