The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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