im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
