TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
