I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
