Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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