You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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