Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
honey bunches of taint.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
