I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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