Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
