were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
