If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Randomize
