chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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