Cold hands, warm shart.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
