can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
