you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
