I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
