if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
please don't ironically join a cult
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