i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
