Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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