Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
