I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
