I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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