Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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