idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
