I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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