on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
