Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
